A year in the books

It is hard to believe that I have been a nurse at Children's for a year now. The time has flown by and yet I still feel like I have so, so much to learn. Getting through your first year as a nurse is kind of a hallmark occasion. Most people told me if you can survive your first year without coming apart at the seams or quitting, you will make it. There were certainly times that I wanted to throw in the towel, but something makes me keep going back (something more than just the paycheck). And because of some turnover on our unit, I've had to be trained a little early to be a charge nurse. Being in charge is scary bananas!

We lost 5 kids in my first year. Two of them were especially difficult for me. I didn't expect to be attending funerals on my days off. There is an unwritten rule about creating professional boundaries at work and yet I don't know how to NOT get close to these kids and their families.

Part of me wishes I could work days so I could interact more with our docs and other ancillary staff, but the fact that I can do this job one or two nights a week and still be able to do all the mommy stuff makes it work out pretty nicely. Here are pics of three kids that I fell in love with (all of whom stayed with us for weeks or months). One of them has cardiomyopathy (diseased and enlarged heart) and may yet still need a transplant (and being raised by a single dad), one of them got a mechanical valve replacement (and whose mother is not yet 18) and one of them had his diaphram quit working after surgery so he had to get a long-term tracheostomy to help him breathe. Each is a sad story, but I am impressed with the fighting spirits of the kids and the families. Aren't they cute?